candles lit
on the
back of
the wooden desk
pink flowers
fading
but not
wilting, well wa-
tered. Tassels
hang from
the blue
Celtic cross and
Tangling sha-
dows drift
from an-
gled face. Oneir
guide this small
journey:
it is
not far removed
and she has
been wai-
ting for
a while the edge
of her eye-
lid falls
she sleeps
at last released.

i was a puddle without
You knew me well to see the
smile that meant
I was for you but I
was i with thunderclouds my

heart (which is your heart only),
come back and let me swear to you
(my rain is gone)
i am, only, always
yours. My

self (which is only what you love of me),
perhaps i am (tepidly) nothing.

if (i please) you please then
Speak! only my dear
heart

nothing shall not have me if i am yours alone.

there is nothing not new of this
April-May timid warmth
gathering dew and Flowers

(the wind reached
softly, as a perhaps caress--)
you are as daylight on this hopeful pink lily
wiltingly smooth, and sliding
gliding

you said When
i said please
come inside

thin silk
spider’s down on petals’ soft
stretch and

o!

The pale stems of April blushed deep green
but in May
the flowers blossomed.

skydiving

I said Skydiving
hoping to start them talking
not a one blinked their
hands on steering wheels
and books, the littlest listless
in the backwards seat the leather car
seats ‘why don’t we
put on some’ Beethoven
electric fiddle anything guitar
too spaced sounds sift out
Let me at least be Daedalus
was left behind unuttered
already on our way forward
in space at least.

Forceps

Yearn and earn and urn and I’m done.

Sedan

How auspicious, invited Yao Dan,
The fall of water on upturned feet
Opening gloriously in the venerable splashing
Of ancient mud, 哪 the honor of passersby
On empty streets. How auspicious
Fat black cars in the night.

*The Chinese character 哪 (na) is used as “so then…” or to strengthen an interrogative phrase.

may i deficiently
(not like Thirst Quenching and
Chewable Multi)
hungry cold and wantingly

Without and knowingly

when you are Not Here
(let me feel)
alone

your hands are like sweet tonic-drops
and giddily i stirringly you
trickle softly into

and may nothing come
this
profoundly into

Sweet Sorrow

I wrote a letter
Just so I could sign it love
But I meant every word and
I tried to tell you
All that I was thinking of
So I would understand and

I can't stop thinking of days in the sun together
When there was nothing to say
Those blissful moments seem to run together
Maybe it's better that way

Outside the airport
I held you in hand and heart
I closed my eyes and
I wished us far away
Now we are just far apart
That wasn't my intention

I know that sometimes you lay awake and wonder
I hope you know I do the same
It all makes so much sense but
Sometimes I wish there were something to blame

I miss the touch of your hand and
The way you linger
And how your smile lights your eyes
Memories stick like sand on the tip of my finger
And I don't even know why

We will go back to
Long walks and grassy lawns
And eggs for breakfast
But now I should try to sleep
Before the break of dawn:
It's creeping; night's past

If I am lucky then I will dream of you and me but
It has just been too long
I can't see your face anymore with my eyes shut
Sandman, please prove me wrong

I can't stop thinking of how we could run together
Maybe it's better this way
I know it all makes sense but
Sometimes I wish there were something to blame

Passion

Passion is the foundation of human endeavor. It’s not just what sets humans apart from other species, it’s the method whereby we exist, and the reason for it.

It doesn’t matter, in particular, what a passion is, or who feels it- as long as you love (are consumed by) it, not only will you be constantly inspired and fulfilled in its pursuit, but you will naturally find yourself among the very best at it.

It’s the key to realizing human potential: the pursuit, beyond all else, of happiness. You do what you love, and you are driven. If you have to think, to set goals, to plan ahead, then what you are chasing is not truly the thing you love. If you need it, are it, you need only yourself. And fundamentally, that self must constantly be obsessed, consumed.

Song

I sit and watch the world grow pure
Wash off the time, the hope, the fear
Leave only rivers bearing down
Tearing the acorn-crusted ground

I fray my knuckles on the grass
Too worried-smooth to let this pass
Lose and forget, I plead the chill
But cold and dry, my mind won’t still

[Chorus]

I could have offered all my joys
With none of obligation’s poise
But as you are a human too
The obligation’s what you’d choose

Now with the aching warmth of time
Perhaps I’ll learn to be more blind;
Despite the gray leaves of this scene
I know that trees are ever green.

[Chorus]

Chorus:

And if joy was
Not a difference
If I had expected nothing-
It’s been a glorious discomfort
Knowing you
A glorious discomfort

The Future?

A math professor made a joke on our math assignment, but everyone thought it was a real, solvable question, because we're so used to being asked to do things we don't know how to do. Several of us were up all night trying to figure out how to solve the problem with the insufficient information provided.
But then, that's what we're always up all night doing. And what everyone worth listening to in science spends most of their time doing.
They're training the next generation of engineers by throwing problems at us that we can't solve- and some that no one can solve. This one was a joke, but I still haven't decided: I think it might have been one of our more worthwhile assignments, to find out that the problem we were working on was not designed to be solved.
In any case, I think they're doing it right: we should be prepared to spend much longer than all night failing to answer questions. That's what we're here for.

Things that are Wrong with the World

To get ideas for my psych class, I went around asking people what was wrong with the world.

I got 133 responses, but that’s too long a list to type up. Here are some of the more relevant/common ones:

1. Stress from classes

2. You can’t feed the food you didn’t finish to starving children

3. Transparency issues (you can’t read people’s minds)

4. Complacency

5. Leadership structures

6. People who think there’s nothing wrong

7. People who don’t think or ask questions

8. People who are too self absorbed

9. People

10. Today

11. People who don’t live in today

12. Not enough meaningful human interactions

13. Fear of change

14. Fear of communication

15. Fear of strangers

16. Fear of commitment

17. Fear of being blunt/straightforward

18. Inconsiderate people

19. Loneliness

Out of this list, I'm hoping to derive something concrete enough to change in the world around me. I haven't picked anything specific yet, but what strikes me is the commonality of the conclusion that the biggest problems our world faces are people and human mental constructs. That means that not only are we our own greatest obstacles, but we know it. And most people are too frightened or self-satisfied to do anything about it.

Iut.

Kindling

Chopping kindling is strangely musical- the split of the initial log into little pieces, then the subsequent tap-tap-tap-twang as the smaller pieces are separated, finally losing their fibrous grips on unity just before the blade of the axe. Then the clatter-fall from block to ground. I'd forgotten how much I missed this simple work- and a blister and two slivers in the cold-ache of gripping the axe handle were a decent trade-off for twelve dollars and an afternoon outside.