My book heroines were fighters, made strength by seeing weakness, I wanted to be tough like them. But clever as a weapon need not be clever's only guise; what strength is there in seeing ways to bundle cold out of the empty holes, plant seeds in them? Creation has always been harder than destruction 

We used to have an argument where

I said you were wonderful

The kindest person I knew

You said you were nothing special

I guess you won in the end 

You

Said I seemed not ready to be your friend. I

Never meant to be your friend, I made you family. You

Sawed across the bonds we'd woven strong, how can I

Not be angry? You

Tried so many ways to cage me. I

Was caught, a lot, you

Loved me. I

Love you.

How can I

Be anything but sad? You

Were my world; I

Am so much bigger than you dreamed. 

 You cannot just walk out the door; you must wait for a machine to carry you. Capricious machine, it sometimes takes so long you think to descend all twenty-six opulent floors by the stairway. But you're not sure if the stairway would let you out, if an alarm would sound, for months you didn't even know where the stairs were.

Towers trap. We've known this since history and fairytale. The only benefit they afford is long sight, which you need either to fight off a horde or to dream your way out of the center of a city.

 My own words haunt me, chase me

Hold me down, free me

Until I am the bitterest, rawest thing

Still screaming "Love!"

Oh the sun shines every day in california

And those crashing big blue waves they sure look fine

Oh you can leave your heart in california 

But it takes another place to feed your mind

Oh I walked these streets before when I was younger

Heady love and big bright eyes all sweet surprise

What I didn't know those days now holds me under

But I hold in me the love of those goodbyes 

 We all

Raise

Each other